Belief

You often hear it said that that in any endeavour, particularly a creative one, it's important to have courage, conviction, belief and a vision you stick to. There are plenty of motivational soundbites about only never failing if you never try etc.. All good and helpful, maybe even important, as motivation. Probably most of us need to think it's worth doing something, and to remind ourselves every now and then. But this is perhaps because most of us are not completely convinced, entitles, self-obsessed. It's no bad thing to have that bit of doubt - not the crippling stuff that leads to -abandonment of any and all enthusiasm - a bit of doubt that sharpens the critical faculties. The moment when you think something like 'people are actually going to see this' and you notice what you suddenly really don't like. But you do need to then take a step, and that's when you need the courage of your convictions. There is a certain pride, for better or worse, in finally saying I believe in this, even if others don't. I'm not the type of person who thinks everyone else must be wrong, and that if I like something I must be objectively correct, and maybe this has caused a problem of not enough confidence. With the above photo however, I feel there's something I've done I would argue is...not bad. I'd even say I like it, even if others don't. It's not perfect, but I like it. This is saying a lot for a photo I took. Of course there's usually a lot less at stake when you're dealing with a photo, even one submitted for sale or display, to a customer or into a competition, than when lives and countries are the subject of debate. A little bit of doubt, concern for others, listening and looking and feeling and less self obsession seemingly might be a good thing at the moment. Yes, it's Brexit. A fundamentalist belief in known and unknown obvious lies because they confirm what you want to believe. I'd rather have doubts than find out too late my belief wasn't enough. 

I do like the above photo though.

When I Grow Rich

'Would you mind please going back to Shoreditch?' reads the graffiti in New Cross, though in more robust language. Although it can't mean me, I keep this in mind when taking the 78 from outside Asda which in quite a quick journey from the Old Kent Road goes to that strange other place. My destination is actually Whitechapel (for the gallery's Paolozzi exhibition) a little before the final stop, but this is still a trip showing yet again that there are always two sides to wherever you are in London.

Making the right turn the 78 makes in this direction at the Dun Cow, there is the distant hope (or 'finger up to the rest of the country' as some see it) of The Shard. A reminder of where we are, in more than one way. It appears in the distance over a building site / industrial land or something, the tape around which suggests it's going to be something to do with tourist accommodation.

Tower Bridge Road starts to feel like you've moved somewhere else. Premier Inn is already along here. Small flats with smaller balconies that house a chair over the traffic are here, and they must cost a fortune – not sure how much but as the really posh ones around the corner were originally going for £17,000,000 they're probably in the 'unaffordable' bracket too. And along Tooley Street, the office of Southwark Council – apparently, much to their annoyance, caught themselves between the two worlds they straddle, and seemingly, for now anyway, much preferring to shake hands with those on this side of the bridge.

Behind the Tower Of London pop up buildings including the walkie-talkie (20 Fenchurch Street, with SkyGarden), the gherkin (30 St Mary Axe), the cheesegrater (Leadenhall Building) next to Lloyds – all the structures with silly names. Alien to the tower, but all symbols of power really, and the comparing of contrast and similarities between the old and new, value and cost, culture and commerce are...well, obvious I guess, but unavoidable.

And soon after Whitechapel. E1. The mix of workers leaving their office buildings for a break and, um, fresh air, and students mean there seems to be more smokers around here than elsewhere. It's funny how you notice that now.

The gallery almost marks a break along Whitechapel High Street. Right next to Aldgate East station there are plenty of office buildings heading back, but further along, towards Shoreditch, you can see the difference, for better or worse however you see it. It seems Peckham now may have taken over as the place people will love and hate and love to hate, and there are connections even here in Whitechapel – a Nags Head pub, the pub name in Only Fools and Horses, and Peckham beer in the gallery's refectory. As the website says 'The Whitechapel Refectory and After Hours are brought to you by Luke Wilson and Cameron Emirali, the duo behind 8 Hoxton Square'. Hoxton. A Whitechapel gallery serving a beer brewed in Peckham.

Coming out of the train station was a group meeting a guy dressed in character, taking a tour – the Jack The Ripper tour, of the sites of the murders. Walking to the 78 bus stop coming here I'm sure I saw a bus heading this way which was to do with tours like this, parked and leaving from the Old Kent Road gas works. Just to hammer the point home I'll say – Shoreditch and Peckham now have lots in common. One difference is we've had Only Fools... and Desmond's. Shoreditch had Nathan Barley. Maybe that will change.

It feels fortunate to so readily have this place and the exhibition within it to go to, and the beer was good too.